Ice Cream and Doubt

"Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour."  Matthew 15:28

“I don’t want {sob} you to leave, mommy {sob}.”

 It was the second time in 4  days I’d heard this tearful plea from my youngest.


First, just before my trip to Atlanta for a Women of Faith conference and now, again, as I tried to leave early to help out with the Law Enforcement Summit.

“Sweetie, I love you so much.  But you know who loves you more?  Who will never leave you, even when mommy has to?” I said, hugging her tightly.

“God,” answers my oldest, who’d been listening from across the room.  “Yes, that’s right.  God.” I affirmed.

“But I can’t see Him,”  Her eyes were honest and pleading and filled to overflowing with tears. 

Rewind to 4 days ago at 3:30 am…

“Mom, you’re gonna break my heart if you go,” she cried as she clung to me.

“God is with you, baby, and He will comfort you and be with you, even when mommy isn’t.”

We prayed and as God's peace eventually settled over us we were able to enjoy the sweet treat of having the next couple of hours together, just she and I ~ exactly what both of us needed.  {But God is just awesome that way, isn't He? Always providing for our needs, often in unexpected ways, when we pray and ask for it.  I love having a Heavenly Father who lavishes us with his blessings. Tweet this!} 

Fast forward to today...

"We are doing this, again?" I internally question.  The same tearful plea to stay.  The same gracious God whose peace settles us down, again.  This time, though, her honest question of doubt resonated within me:  "But I can’t see Him…”

As part of the reward for her settling down, I made a promise to join her for lunch.  So when work obligations caused me to leave a little later than expected, I became impatient.  Then encountered an unmarked police car on the interstate and became frustrated.  So much so that I ended up missing the intended exit.

Doubt kicked into full gear:  “I’m not going to have any time with her.  I’m going to miss her whole lunch hour.  I might as well turn around.  {Lightbulb moment!}  God, what should I do?“ 

“You should trust me.  Don’t you believe that I am with her always?  That I can be trusted to care for her and comfort her when you aren’t around?  Isn’t that what you told her this morning?  Don't you believe it?“ 

Surrender and peace washed over me.  I slowed down.  And railing against my sinful, doubting instincts…I stopped for ice cream!  What a joy and freedom I felt in surrendering to God’s truth, the knowledge that He could do anything, that He was with Bella to comfort and protect her.  Tweet this!  In that instant, I'd moved from doubt to belief and the realization that I didn't need to know all the details of how or why.    

Arriving at the end of her lunch period, with she and her classmates getting ready to depart the lunchroom, I honestly didn't know what to expect.  Was God going to teach me that his grace was sufficient when missing a promised lunchtime visit with my daughter?  Would He turn back the hands of time? Nope.  Neither of those. 

What He did was, nonetheless a miracle.  He prompted the teacher to offer to allow my child to stay past the normal lunch hour in order to enjoy an ice cream with me, the late-to-lunch mom.     

As Bella and I enjoyed our special, divinely provided time together, I thanked God for the big scoops of faith He always provides me with peace sprinkled on top.

"The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace."  Psalm 29:11

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27

 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8

The {Word} Wednesday, October 30: BELIEVE

The {Word} Wednesday, October 30: BELIEVE

At the Women of Faith conference I attended this past weekend, the theme was "Believe God Can Do Anything."  I'd like to share with you just a few points from Max Lucado's talk about how we can consistently renew our faith and belief in God.

1. Lay claim to the nearness of God.  Heb. 13:5 (NIV)  Feelings are immaterial and irrelevant.

2. Cling to his character.  Set your thoughts on God not the problem.  Don’t give way to toxic thoughts.  Just because you think it doesn’t mean you have to meditate on it.  Meditate on what is true and good about God.  His faithfulness and that He never changes.

3. Pray your pain out.  In a faith crisis, be honest with God.  You can shake your fist at Him and tell Him and complain and talk to Him. He knows it anyway.

4. Lean on God’s people.  Don’t isolate!  This is the time to be IN church.  Matthew 18:20.  They are the body of Christ on earth.  The devil knows it and if he can keep you away from church {God’s hope distribution center}, you will become hope starved but God delivers!  Lean into Him.

Definition: Believe ~ to trust in; to hold a firm conviction about; to accept as true, genuine, or real (See also - Faith, Trust)

What does the Bible say about believe?

John 14:12-14  ESV  “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

John 20:29  ESV Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

John 3:16  ESV “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Mark 16:15-16  ESV And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

Romans 10:9-10  ESV Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Mark 9:24  ESV Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
Romans 10:14  ESV  How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?

1 John 4:1-2  ESV Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God,

Questions for discussion:  Do you agree with the statement that doubt is an emotion and that belief is a choice?  Why or why not?

The {Word} Wednesday, October 16: JOY

What comes to mind when you think of the word Joy?  For me, it’s my sister-in-law…and my coworker…and my husband’s past and present coworker…and every other person I know with that name.  A close second is the familiar Christmas song.  But I’ve only recently begun to think of joy as something that I’m supposed to have, as a fruit of the Holy Spirit that comes from deep within me, regardless of my circumstances or how I might feel.  So what is joy?  What does the Bible say about joy?  I’m so glad you asked.

Definition:  Joy ~ the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune

What does the Bible say about joy?

You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine.  Psalm 4:7

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.  James 1:2-4

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  There is no law against these things!  Galatians 5:22-23

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him.  Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.  At that time you won’t need to ask me for anything.  I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request because you use my name.  You haven’t done this before.  Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.  John 16:22-24

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.  Proverbs 17:22

The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.  Proverbs 10:28

Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.  Luke 15:10

For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.  Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.  Psalm 30:5

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!  Psalm 126:5

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.  Psalm 16:11

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12:2

As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.  2 Corinthians 6:10

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.  Psalm 51:12

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.”  Luke 2:10

Questions for thought/discussion:

 
Is true joy dependent on circumstances or emotions?  Why or why not?

Faith "&" Works

“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”  1 John 5:14-15 (ESV)

Jesus continued from there toward Jerusalem and came to another village. Martha, a resident of that village, welcomed Jesus into her home. ³⁹ Her sister, Mary, went and sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him teach. ⁴⁰ Meanwhile Martha was anxious about all the hospitality arrangements.  Martha (interrupting Jesus): Lord, why don’t You care that my sister is leaving me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to get over here and help me.  Jesus: ⁴¹ Oh Martha, Martha, you are so anxious and concerned about a million details, ⁴² but really, only one thing matters. Mary has chosen that one thing, and I won’t take it away from her.  Luke 10:38-42

Poor hardworking Martha.  Being a Martha-type myself, more of a doer than a thinker, I’ve always related better to her than Mary. 

Need a volunteer at church?  I’m your girl.  Co-room mom?  Sure.  Girl Scout Co-leader?  Of course.  Finances tight?  I’m on it.  Fill in for a coworker?  Absolutely.

Recently, my bestie and I went to my friend’s Semi-Annual Women’s Clothes Swap Event. I normally detest shopping for clothes but the lure of next-to-free clothes and a girls night out proved more than I could resist. 

Before the event, we visited the vendors' tables set up around the church gymnasium.  With tight budgets, we were hesitant to waste anyone’s time, but we soon found that the ladies were happy to just talk.  Pretty bags and bows over here.  Hair and skin products over there. Interesting things to look at as we passed the time.

So the Holy Spirit is the only explanation I have for what happened next.

Glancing around the room to ensure I hadn't missed anyone, I was drawn to lady who seemed to radiate peace.  Was it her kind eyes, gentle smile? No, something more.  I could literally feel the sweet spirit surrounding the table pulling me towards it.  As I got closer, the items on her table became clearer. 

A puzzle card?  That’s neat.  Children’s books.  Cool.  Serving dishes and cups.  Okay.  Though a wide variety of items, a common theme became obvious...these were faith-based pieces, infused with scripture.   

Penny shared with me her story of Mary & Martha, the company for which she consulted.   She expressed gratitude that proceeds from her sales had funded cancer research, adoptions and mission trips, her husband being a pastor.  How she still got chill bumps when she thought about how each shipment is prayed over.  And it was just her story, not a sales pitch.  No pressure, just a feeling of peace.  I could almost envision her, a Mary, at the feet of Jesus, listening intently.

Days after the event, I was still thinking about Penny and Mary & Martha.  Though I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to call her, I resisted. 

No time.  No energy.  No resources.  I don’t know enough people. I've never done anything like this before. My plate is so full already.  In an instant, old familiar worries and excuses rose up like flames, threatening to consume me. Tweet this!

Like so many times before, I was at a cross roads.  Which path would I take?   

Memories of His goodness rushed in like flood waters, filling me to overflowing with His peace in an instant.  He reminded me of His command to go and tell the world about Him, the Good News.  He reminded me He would be my helper and hadn't I been praying for just this thing? 

For Him to use me, give me more opportunities to share about my faith and encourage others in theirs, provide a way for our family to continue rebuilding our financial security and freedom, to help us provide some of the basic needs for the newest member of our family, Olga? 

His words of comfort reminded me of what He had told Martha over 2,000 year ago, “Oh, Patty, Patty, you are so anxious and concerned about a million details, but really, only one thing matters. Choose that one thing that will not be taken away from you.“

So I am choosing obedience to Him in traveling this new path He has set before me at Mary & Martha.  And I'm so excited to be a part of a faith-based company where we are encouraged to live in the "&" - that place that brings together our faith and our works.  Tweet this!

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

 “For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”  James 2:25 (ESV)

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16 (ESV)

“He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;…”  Psalm 46:10(a) (NIV)

The {Word} Wednesday, October 2: Strength

The {Word} Wednesday, October 2: Strength

This was Arlethea W. Pressley word for today but she is out sick and asked me to post it for her so it will be an abbreviated and Holy Spirit guided version! {Will you please say a quick prayer of healing for her and send her well wishes of strength and encouragement? Thank you!}

DEFINITION:...

Strength (according to my Bible's definition) is: capacity for exertion or endurance; support; the power of a person or of God, measured variously in terms of wealth, wisdom, military might, or physical prowess.

WHAT DOES GOD'S WORD SAY ABOUT STRENGTH:

"The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." Psalm 28:7

"And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your should, and all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5

"God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

"So do not be attracted by strange, new ideas. Your strength comes from God's grace, not from rules about food, which don't help those who follow them." Hebrews 13:9

MY TAKE:

The message I'm getting from these few verses (there are so many more) is that God does not intend for us to "muster up" strength to handle our own problems. His intention is for us to seek Him and allow His strength to handle whatever we have in front of us. It's a supernatural thing which probably explains why we are so tired, weary and worn out all the time.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

What things are you trying to muster up the strength to handle today? Do you have any verses that help remind you to go to God for strength?

The {Word} Wednesday, September 25: Fear

Definitions:

Fear - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  [terror, fright, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease, apprehension, nervousness, perturbation, foreboding]

Fear - regard (God) with reverence and awe [revere, reverence, venerate, respect]

God gave us the emotion of fear as (1) a warning signal to keep us safe and (2) a way to experience a healthy boundary with, and view of, our Holy and Almighty Father.  But when we allow fear to go beyond these purposes created by God, we are falling prey to one of the devil’s greatest lies. One that he loves to use on us Christians because it paralyzes us, renders us useless, and holds us back from obeying Jesus. 

What does the Bible have to say about fear? 

You will find the command “fear not” in variations in Scripture nearly 150 times, most often accompanied by a loving reassurance from God. 

Consider just the following samples:

Genesis 15:1 - “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield.”

Genesis 26:24 - “I am the God of Abraham your father.  Fear not, I am with you.”

Genesis 28:15 - “I am with you.”

Exodus 33:14 - “My presence will go with you.”

Psalm 23:4 - “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”

2 Chronicles 20:17 - “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed.  Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”

Isaiah 41:14 - “Fear not, you worm Jacob….I am the one who helps you.”

Jeremiah 1:8 - “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you.”

Consider the following samples about fearing God:

Psalm 111:10 - “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.  His praise endures forever!”

1 Peter 2:17 - “Honor everyone.  Love the brotherhood.  Fear God.  Honor the emperor.”

Proverbs 19:23 - “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.”

Proverbs 14:27 - “The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.”

Proverbs 8:13 - “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.”

How do we combat sinful fear?

Prayer.  It’s your 24/7 hotline straight to God. Your Father, the Creator of the Universe, has access to unlimited resources and longs to pour out His peace and blessings on you, if you will only seek Him through prayer.

God’s Word.  It’s your sword and shield in the battle against the devil‘s lies.  Hide it in your heart by memorizing verses to use when you feel afraid.  Verses that empower you and remind you of His sovereign and wholly good character.

The Church.  Not the building.  The people.  The fellowship of believers.  Foster strong relationships with His people and reach out to them in times of distress. 

When we do these things, it will remind us that our human view is limited and faulty and will encourage us to trust the One who knows it all.  Instead of losing hope for the future, we will begin to see a future with Him in it, actively helping us.  Instead of worrying, it will help us stop predicting things that may not - and most likely will not - come to pass.  But we must surrender control of our lives to Him daily. 

Because we live in a sinful, fallen world, sinful fear permeates our lives but that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to it.  Instead, we should engage ourselves in an intentional battle of spiritual warfare against this force that threatens to disarm us and render us useless for Christ. 

We can draw comfort from the promise Jesus made to his disciples, which is still true for us today -  “I am with you always to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20

Taken in part from “4 Reasons Why We Fear” by Pastor Mark Driscoll, May 9, 2012  <http://pastormark.tv/2012/05/09/4-reasons-why-we-fear>

My “go-to” verses in dealing with fear:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.“  Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13 (NLT)

“ Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. . . . And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? . . . For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.”  Luke 12:22-31

Questions for thought/discussion: 

What fears have you paralyzed today? How are you dealing with those fears? Is your method of battling fears working? Why or why not?

Harley Davidsons and Quitters

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  John 3:17

You were married to someone before daddy?

We initiated the conversation intentionally.  At 6 and 8, we felt they were old enough to know.  Still, it wasn’t entirely comfortable navigating that many questions.

"What's his name?  What's he look like?  Why'd you divorce?  Isn’t divorce a sin? Do I have other brothers or sisters? Where is he now? You rode motorcycles?  (Would these questions end?)




Answering best I could, we talked until they were satisfied and went back to playing.  "Wow," I thought.  "Glad that’s over.  It really wasn‘t that bad."

Yet, days later I still felt the weight of that conversation.  It was the first time I had thought about my divorce in a while.  And the very first time from a recommitted-to-Christ perspective.   

At 23, I'd met a man over 10 years my senior who was as wide open as me.  He had an outlandish personality and style, colorful past, lots of tattoos, long blonde hair, and a love of Harley Davidsons. And I fell head over heels in love with all of it.

We were alike in so many ways but the main difference was pretty distinct.  He was clean and sober and I wasn’t.  It amazed me to see him having more fun than me at bars and strip joints without a drop of alcohol or any drugs.  He was a quitter and proud of it.  So I decided to try it his way for a while. 

Less than a year later, we married.  

We traveled all over the country together.  I started out on the back of his Heritage but quickly ended up with a Sportster of my own.  We hit swap meets and motorcycles rallies from Daytona Beach to Myrtle Beach.  From Sturgis, SD to Four Corners.  We biked along the coast of California from San Diego to San Francisco and back.  We even made a pit stop to hang with a friend of a friend, Jesse James, at his shop, West Coast Choppers.

And I really wish I could tell you something awful happened that led to our divorce.  But, honestly, it was probably the same thing that happens to other couples.  Letting the little things turn into big things.  Not communicating our needs to each other.  Taking each other for granted. 

We noticed it and even put in a good year of couples counseling.  But since God wasn’t a part of our lives or marriage, we picked a secular counselor whose advice was focused on what would make us happy, how we felt, what we wanted.  Eventually, it all felt like just too much work.     

So, seven years after saying “I do” we both said “we quit.”  

God’s Word is clear that divorce is a sin and what I felt was the full weight of my sin.  Which is why I was so grateful that His Word was also clear on His forgiveness of our sins.  But even more than forgiveness, I was blessed.  Blessed to be able to have a message to share with my girls about how important it is they seek God’s will for whom they will marry and in keeping God the focus of their marriage.   

And, on any given Saturday morning, as I watch my husband help out around the house and see my girls playing more than helping, I am so very grateful for a God who makes beautiful things out of our messes.  And for a God who will never quit on us.  

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”  Mark 10:11

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12 (ESV)

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  Ecclesiastes 4:9 (ESV)

It Opens Today...

Woo Hoo!!! TODAY is the day registration opens for our {Re}Committed Lives incourager group through the amazingly fantastic super-powers over at (in)courage!


In case you didn’t know, (in)courage is a captivating online community for women, full of daily encouragement and inspiration. And TODAY we are partnering with them as we kick off this fall session of (in)couragers community groups…

Groups made to connect women beyond just a blog post.

Groups built around common interests or themes,

Made for women just like you, by women just like you!

And we are honored to be serving alongside them this fall! 

They have Bible Study groups, Women in Ministry Groups, Motherhood Groups, Marriage groups, Empty Nester groups, Adoption groups, Professional groups, Student groups, Writing groups, and other Special Interest groups–including abuse survivors, chronic illness, depression, infertility, and hope for hurting families. Over 70 groups waiting for you … to walk alongside you in community!

S-E-V-E-N-T-Y!!!

What could be better than that?

Yet I know, many of us have been hurt or wounded in community, and we are hesitant to take a risk again–too guarded to open our hearts to this scary vulnerable thing called community.

But as Mary DeMuth says, sometimes the thing that has wounded us most, is the very thing God uses to heal us. 

And I promise you there is no safer, more loving place, than (in)courage for  you to begin!

(in)couragers are community and community is connection … and God meets us as we care for one another there. [Tweet that]

We have been planning and preparing and praying for you, that you’d come and connect, and be changed in community!

Each group is limited to 30 members, in order to facilitate interaction in the building of meaningful relationships, and we can’t wait for you to see what is waiting for you there.

Won’t you join us?

Join us and be changed by the power of community!

And don’t forget … tell a friend! There are chocolate and cupcakes waiting for you there!

May your fall be blessed beyond measure as you are touched by connection with others who understand!

With so much love and thanks for you…

Patty Mills and Arlethea Pressley
Group Leaders for {Re}Committed Lives

Cockfighting and Amazing Grace

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)


I can still remember the excitement of getting to miss church so we could go visit my “Grandpa on the mountain.” Because there were usually surprises along the way. 

An old service station at the bottom of the mountain where we would get root beers in glass bottles; a flea market where there were puppies for sale; the feeling that we were going to fall off the mountain as my dad drove way too close to the side. 



But always, as we started down the dirt drive towards the old house, my excitement turned to nervousness.

Pictures of my Grandpa in his youth showed a tall, handsome, slightly arrogant looking man. But after years working in the coal mines, his looks and health prematurely withered. 

He and my grandmother had divorced back before divorce was accepted as the norm. Both of them had bad tempers, but my Grandpa‘s violent temper was legendary. 

Did he really beat his brother with a tire iron? You know he used to run moonshine, didn’t you? So you mean he uses those pretty roosters in fights? Does he really hit them with his cane? 

I can barely remember him looking for the perfect stump to find fiddling worms for a fishing trip with my dad. Somewhere along the line, he started using a cane to walk.

More vivid are the memories of him angrily shaking his cane, demanding someone bring him “this or that” as he coughed and gasped for air. Somewhere along the line, an oxygen tank appeared along with a folded up napkin he kept in his hand for when the coughing fits hit.

And then came the appearance of an old Bible…

When they brought in the hospital bed, the old Bible and him became inseparable. He desperately clung to it, holding it tightly to his chest. Sometimes he would shake it at us while trying to tell us something very important that I could never quite understand. 

And I remember being angry. 

How dare you, I thought. How dare you try to act like you’re good now. Now that you are dying do you think you just get to grab a Bible and it will magically wipe out all the bad things you’ve done all your life? No, Grandpa, it doesn’t work like that. You haven’t done anything good. You don’t get to just go to heaven after all that stuff. 

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor started a series of sermons on grace. How grace isn’t earned and we can’t lose it.  None of us deserve it.  It is God’s free and amazing gift to us. Tweet this!

He became emotional as he reminded us of the criminal who hung on a cross beside our Savior. About the saving grace our Lord extended to him, just moments before He died. How he wasn’t required to jump off the cross and make amends to all those he had wronged, go serve the poor and minister to the needy in order to be granted access to heaven.

My years of self righteousness melted away and in its place sprung up humility and gratefulness. And I marveled in the wonder I felt knowing that the only requirement from God was to accept His amazing gift of grace, which is wholly sufficient.  Tweet this!


Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:42-43 (NLT)

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 (NLT)

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13 (NIV)

Nosebleeds and Mocha Frappuccinos

 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”  Matthew 26:41

“I got to eat a popsicle today, mom,” said my youngest child, proudly showing me her slightly stained pink tongue.   

“Oh, that’s nice, honey.  Why?” I asked. 

“Because the nurse said it would help with my nosebleed.”  

My eldest had them occasionally as a young child but she hasn’t had any in a couple of years.  But my youngest child…poor thing.  She got the worst of it. 

Last year, she had them so severely and so frequently she made daily trips to the school nurse’s office.  Sometimes twice a day.  

Exasperated, I took her to an ENT whose diagnosis was weak blood vessels.  His suggested treatment was a chewable daily allergy medicine (to help prevent them) and Afrin nose spray (to help stop one already in progress). 

After several weeks with no nosebleeds, my first thought was “Hooray!” closely followed by second thought which was “Well, THAT information sure would have been helpful about a year ago.”

In our desperation, we’d tried all sorts of things over the years to prevent/stop them. 

• A humidifier. 
• Liberal application of nasal lubricant. 
• Short nails to ward off accidental scraping of the inside of her nose.  
• Pinching the bridge of her nose for 5 minutes straight (no peeking!). 
• “Crazy lips” -  a small piece of wet paper towel, folded to fit between her top lip and gum.

And though some of these things may have helped, nothing came close to helping as quickly and completely as our ENT’s suggestions. 

So, after almost six months of being virtually nosebleed-free, we had become complacent. 

"Nosebleeds?  That’s a thing of the past," I thought as I happily checked “None” on the school’s medical conditions form.  Goodbye humidifier.  So long emergency stashes of Afrin bottles.   

I surprised my sweet hubby with his second love this morning:  a mocha frappuccino.   Since I never just drop by his office and since our strict needs-only budget doesn’t allow for such luxuries, I knew this would be a real treat for him. 

The need to reconnect with him felt almost overwhelming.

I couldn't put my finger on it, either, because we haven’t been fighting.  Actually, things have been running surprisingly smooth at our house lately.

 

We say pleasant enough “good mornings” as we get ourselves and the kids ready for the day.  We ask how each other’s day was in the evenings and do a decent job listening to each other.  We’ve eaten more dinners together around the table than not lately. 

But in the evenings, after the kids go to bed, which is the only real time we have to connect with each other on a deeper level…well, we just hadn’t been.   And that's when I realize what is happening...we have become complacent and have been, ever so slightly, drifting apart. 

And it is neither of our faults and both of our faults at the same time. 

And God reminds me that our marriage is susceptible to the same kind of sneak attack we experienced with our youngest's recent nosebleed.  He reminds me that complacency will lead us and our relationship down a path that we've been too many times before.  Click to Tweet!

And I'm thankful for this wake up call. 

For the Great Physician's diagnosis that our marriage is weak right now.  And for His suggested treatment of making the time to meet each other's most important needs.   

 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”  Ephesians 6:10-12 (ESV)

“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”  Revelation 3:16 (ESV)

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”  I Peter 5:8 KJV

Jesus List and Boundaries

“An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”  Proverbs 27:5-6 (NLT)

It seems I’ve been apologizing an awful lot lately. 

• I’m sorry my late night text woke you (um, correction, woke your husband). 
• I’m sorry you keep getting an annoying email reminder to “join me on Twitter.”
• I’m sorry that I make you uncomfortable with the way I share scripture/my faith/my prayers.
• I’m sorry for being grumpy, losing my temper, getting stressed out, yelling, fussing, speaking unkindly, being thoughtless, not making enough time for you…

An encourager by God’s design, my whole being revolts at the thought of having said or done something offensive to others.  Literally, it makes me sick to my stomach.

And then my mind rushes to defend my words or actions.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  They misunderstood.  They are being ridiculous/too sensitive/(insert word here).  It’s not my fault.  I can’t help it.  It’s their problem, not mine.”   

Sometimes, my defenses might even be true.  But it’s always God's way of using people or situations to remind me of a healthy boundary or alert me to an unknown barrier. Tweet this!

Soon after recommitting my life to Christ, I began emailing certain people to let them know what God was doing in my life.  But only the ones God laid on my heart and that I’d prayed over.  I’d share a story and some scripture maybe once a week. 

Within the first couple of weeks, I received an email from one of my friends asking me to take her off the “mass Jesus email list.” That God just wasn’t her “thing.” Ouch.  I felt nauseous.

The main difference between a boundary and a barrier is the motive.  A healthy boundary grows from love while a barrier is erected out of fear. Tweet this!

So when we encounter something that gives us that sick feeling in our stomach (like a criticism) it is essential that we quickly figure out if it is meant to help us or hurt us*.  

Let’s just be honest, here.  No one likes criticism.  We’d all much prefer to go through life with nothing but praises and pats on the back at how fabulous we are all the time. 

But as sinners living in a sinful world, we need to seek out and cherish those Godly friends who are brave enough and who love us enough to provide us with constructive, kind criticism.  And we also need to be that kind of friend to another.  Because we all have areas of our live where we could be more Christ-like. 

And for those people who erect the barriers, you ask?  The ones that harshly criticize out of fear, thoughtlessness, pride, hate, jealously, or misunderstanding?  You seek God’s help in showing them Christ’s love.  Because hurt people hurt people.     

And my friend, the one who asked to be taken off my “Jesus” list?  I credit her with beginning me down the path I find myself on today.  “What if email is too intrusive?  Wonder if there is a better way to share my faith, my stories, the Good News with people? …”

I sent her a thank you email a while back.  Told her how genuinely grateful and inspired I was by her request.  She was surprised and skeptical, I think, but her replies back to me gradually softened.  And I am hopeful that God will continue to do a great work of love in her heart and that, one day, the barrier would crumble and she would experience Christ’s overwhelming love through a personal relationship with Him.   

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…”  Genesis 50:20(a) (ESV)

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”  Colossians 4:6 (ESV)

*Source:  Terkeurtst, Lisa.  “Criticism Hurts”  18 June 2012.  Lysaterkeurtst.com <http://lysaterkeurtst.com/2012/06/criticism-hurts/ Monday, June 18 “Criticism Hurts”>  29 August 2013.

The Lion and Lamb

 “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned - every one - to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”  Isaiah 53:6 (ESV)

“Mommy, is it sick?” my youngest asked.  “Maybe not," I said in a hopeful tone.  

A sound not quite a cough but not quite a roar echoed from the big cat enclosure.  He was huge and beautiful and seemed healthy enough to me but there was a distinct weakness in that labored sound.  “Poor lion,” I thought.  “I don’t think he could hurt a lamb in the state he’s in.”




They say March comes in like a lion but leaves like a lamb.  But it’s my absolute most favorite month.  One filled with celebrations.

On March 17, 1972, St. Patrick’s Day, I was born.  

The youngest of five children, I’m sure my parents were grateful about not having to think too hard about coming up with another name.  Patricia worked out just fine.  Patty is the name I’ve gone by, well, forever but recently I’ve noticed my parents have started to call me Pat. I don’t particularly like being called Pat but since they are my parents I guess they can call me what they darn well please. 

In March of 1978, at the age of six years old, I was reborn.

I wish I could tell you all about that experience but, honestly, the only reason I know the date is because of church records uncovered recently.  As a matter of fact, I’ve been telling people for years that I got saved at the age of thirteen because I couldn’t remember and it sounded reasonable.  Was I really saved at six years old, you might ask.  Yes, I believe so and with all my heart. Because all salvation needs is a child-like faith the size of a mustard seed.  Tweet this!

On March 31, 2013, Easter Sunday night, I was rebaptized as an outward expression of my recommittment to Christ.

Not long after graduating high school, I washed my hands of stifling church sermons and narrow minded, hypocritical church people and set off to do my own thing.  Free at last! 

Twenty years later, worn and torn from being chained to addictions and paying the consequences for what I thought was freedom, God welcomed me back into the fold.  His little lost sheep had come back home.

“Where’s the lion, mommy?” my youngest asked on our next trip to the zoo. 

Hyenas were now lounging about in the enclosure where the big cat used to be.  “I don’t know, honey.  Maybe they’ve moved him somewhere else.”  And my heart hoped that was the truth.  I envisioned him in a bigger place than this one, surrounded by his pride, as his deafening roar echoed across the beautiful savannah.

And I am reminded of how Jesus came to earth, still fully God but in the form of man.  Tweet this!  Like the Lion and the Lamb, all rolled into one perfect, unblemished sacrifice offered up on a cross to give us freedom from our sins.  To provide a way for us to be reunited, once again, with a holy God for all eternity. 

And I envision us in a better place than this one, surrounded by His glory, as the music of angels echo across the unfathomable heavens.

“The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, ‘Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.’”  John 1:29 (ESV)

“And one of the elders said to me, ‘Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.’”  Revelation 5:5 (ESV)

“Know that the Lord, he is God!  It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”  Psalm 100:3 (ESV)

"The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" #justtrust #faith

— Patty Mills (@UpForTheJourney) August 23, 2013

Mentoring and Being Mentored

Mentoring and Being Mentored

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

 “I’d like to talk to you about the Apples of Gold event coming up this Fall.  Do you know about it?,” said a sweet church lady as we were passing in the hallway.

 

“Yes.  That’s the mentoring program, right?” I replied.  She smiled and nodded her head as she continued right down the hallway.  Which left me more than a little confused… 

 

Fresh out of individual Biblical counseling, I began my search for a mentor.  A mature woman with whom I could build an honest, deep, spiritually-satisfying relationship.  I didn’t know many women at my church, yet, so I prayed for God to guide me to the perfect woman.  And He did.  

“I’m really busy right now.  How about sometime next month?” she said.  “And I don’t particularly like the word mentor.  How about encourager or prayer warrior, instead. ” 

With diminished enthusiasm, I marked an agreeable date on my calendar and continued to pray but this time, “God, are you sure that she is the one? “ 

“Trust me, she’s the one,” He reassured me.

With the spiritual gift of encouragement, you will find that people are naturally drawn to you.  Don’t get the big head, though, because it isn’t really YOU they are drawn to at all…it is your gift. 

And it isn’t always a good thing.  For example, one of my dear friends had begun to come to me on a regular basis to vent about all the bad things going on in her life.  Time and again, I encouraged her to find a church home, to pray and seek God in all things, to turn them all over to Him, but she seemed to just tune me out. 

I began to feel overwhelmed as I watched her life continue to spiral out of control.  My heart ached for her.  Her situations were very real and very bad but nothing that God couldn’t handle.  But…there’s the rub, because I couldn’t MAKE her call out to God.  I began to feel emotionally depleted, used up and frustrated.  Taking my own advice, I prayed and turned my friend over to God and, in turn, He provided me with the insight and words to finally help her. 

“I am your friend but I won’t be your counselor anymore.  That’s not my job title.  Counselors are specially trained to listen to problems and then file them away in their cabinet along with all their other patient’s files.  As my last piece of advice to you, I’m going to recommend that you find a biblical counselor.  And I'm so excited for you because I know God has awesome things planned for you and I can’t wait to hear all about those things.  I love you and am so grateful God has put you in my life.” 

Sometimes, unknowingly, we can get in the way of the Holy Spirit doing His job.  Tweet this! Or maybe we try to be the Holy Spirit, Jr.  We feel we need to fix situations or people.  But they don’t need to be fixed by us.  They need to hit rock bottom so that they don’t have any other option but to call out to God to help them. 

 

And I am reminded of a time not so long ago when I hit that bottom myself. 

 

And though I am grateful for the people who tried to fix me along the way, I am most grateful for the many who made the heart wrenching decision to pray for me, instead, to hit bottom and do it quickly. The ones who knew that by hitting that bottom it would allow me to find out that Jesus was my granite underneath it all.

At our first meeting, my encourager (as she likes to be called) told me about her walk of faith which was so eerily similar to mine that it raised chill bumps all over my body.  “I told you,” God said.  And though she and I don’t have that typical mentoring/mentor relationship (whatever that is), she has been and continues to be one of the most influential women in my life. 

She tells me about classes I should take, events I should participate in, women and organizations I should connect with, credentials that I should check out.  We’ve gone prayer walking around our neighborhood together and we have plans to share the Good News at a booth at the upcoming fair.  And words can’t describe how grateful I am that God put her in my life. 

And I have a sneaking suspicion that she told that sweet church lady to invite me to be a part of the Apples of Gold event coming up in the Fall but I’m still left wondering…did she mean for me to participate as a mentor to others or to be the one receiving the mentoring?

Because God reminds me that I am, and always to be, both.          

“Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.”  Proverbs 25:11 (NLT)

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers of slaves to much wine.  They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”  Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)

“The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.”  Proverbs 12:26 (NLT)