Jesus List and Boundaries

“An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”  Proverbs 27:5-6 (NLT)

It seems I’ve been apologizing an awful lot lately. 

• I’m sorry my late night text woke you (um, correction, woke your husband). 
• I’m sorry you keep getting an annoying email reminder to “join me on Twitter.”
• I’m sorry that I make you uncomfortable with the way I share scripture/my faith/my prayers.
• I’m sorry for being grumpy, losing my temper, getting stressed out, yelling, fussing, speaking unkindly, being thoughtless, not making enough time for you…

An encourager by God’s design, my whole being revolts at the thought of having said or done something offensive to others.  Literally, it makes me sick to my stomach.

And then my mind rushes to defend my words or actions.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  They misunderstood.  They are being ridiculous/too sensitive/(insert word here).  It’s not my fault.  I can’t help it.  It’s their problem, not mine.”   

Sometimes, my defenses might even be true.  But it’s always God's way of using people or situations to remind me of a healthy boundary or alert me to an unknown barrier. Tweet this!

Soon after recommitting my life to Christ, I began emailing certain people to let them know what God was doing in my life.  But only the ones God laid on my heart and that I’d prayed over.  I’d share a story and some scripture maybe once a week. 

Within the first couple of weeks, I received an email from one of my friends asking me to take her off the “mass Jesus email list.” That God just wasn’t her “thing.” Ouch.  I felt nauseous.

The main difference between a boundary and a barrier is the motive.  A healthy boundary grows from love while a barrier is erected out of fear. Tweet this!

So when we encounter something that gives us that sick feeling in our stomach (like a criticism) it is essential that we quickly figure out if it is meant to help us or hurt us*.  

Let’s just be honest, here.  No one likes criticism.  We’d all much prefer to go through life with nothing but praises and pats on the back at how fabulous we are all the time. 

But as sinners living in a sinful world, we need to seek out and cherish those Godly friends who are brave enough and who love us enough to provide us with constructive, kind criticism.  And we also need to be that kind of friend to another.  Because we all have areas of our live where we could be more Christ-like. 

And for those people who erect the barriers, you ask?  The ones that harshly criticize out of fear, thoughtlessness, pride, hate, jealously, or misunderstanding?  You seek God’s help in showing them Christ’s love.  Because hurt people hurt people.     

And my friend, the one who asked to be taken off my “Jesus” list?  I credit her with beginning me down the path I find myself on today.  “What if email is too intrusive?  Wonder if there is a better way to share my faith, my stories, the Good News with people? …”

I sent her a thank you email a while back.  Told her how genuinely grateful and inspired I was by her request.  She was surprised and skeptical, I think, but her replies back to me gradually softened.  And I am hopeful that God will continue to do a great work of love in her heart and that, one day, the barrier would crumble and she would experience Christ’s overwhelming love through a personal relationship with Him.   

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…”  Genesis 50:20(a) (ESV)

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”  Colossians 4:6 (ESV)

*Source:  Terkeurtst, Lisa.  “Criticism Hurts”  18 June 2012.  Lysaterkeurtst.com <http://lysaterkeurtst.com/2012/06/criticism-hurts/ Monday, June 18 “Criticism Hurts”>  29 August 2013.

The Lion and Lamb

 “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned - every one - to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”  Isaiah 53:6 (ESV)

“Mommy, is it sick?” my youngest asked.  “Maybe not," I said in a hopeful tone.  

A sound not quite a cough but not quite a roar echoed from the big cat enclosure.  He was huge and beautiful and seemed healthy enough to me but there was a distinct weakness in that labored sound.  “Poor lion,” I thought.  “I don’t think he could hurt a lamb in the state he’s in.”




They say March comes in like a lion but leaves like a lamb.  But it’s my absolute most favorite month.  One filled with celebrations.

On March 17, 1972, St. Patrick’s Day, I was born.  

The youngest of five children, I’m sure my parents were grateful about not having to think too hard about coming up with another name.  Patricia worked out just fine.  Patty is the name I’ve gone by, well, forever but recently I’ve noticed my parents have started to call me Pat. I don’t particularly like being called Pat but since they are my parents I guess they can call me what they darn well please. 

In March of 1978, at the age of six years old, I was reborn.

I wish I could tell you all about that experience but, honestly, the only reason I know the date is because of church records uncovered recently.  As a matter of fact, I’ve been telling people for years that I got saved at the age of thirteen because I couldn’t remember and it sounded reasonable.  Was I really saved at six years old, you might ask.  Yes, I believe so and with all my heart. Because all salvation needs is a child-like faith the size of a mustard seed.  Tweet this!

On March 31, 2013, Easter Sunday night, I was rebaptized as an outward expression of my recommittment to Christ.

Not long after graduating high school, I washed my hands of stifling church sermons and narrow minded, hypocritical church people and set off to do my own thing.  Free at last! 

Twenty years later, worn and torn from being chained to addictions and paying the consequences for what I thought was freedom, God welcomed me back into the fold.  His little lost sheep had come back home.

“Where’s the lion, mommy?” my youngest asked on our next trip to the zoo. 

Hyenas were now lounging about in the enclosure where the big cat used to be.  “I don’t know, honey.  Maybe they’ve moved him somewhere else.”  And my heart hoped that was the truth.  I envisioned him in a bigger place than this one, surrounded by his pride, as his deafening roar echoed across the beautiful savannah.

And I am reminded of how Jesus came to earth, still fully God but in the form of man.  Tweet this!  Like the Lion and the Lamb, all rolled into one perfect, unblemished sacrifice offered up on a cross to give us freedom from our sins.  To provide a way for us to be reunited, once again, with a holy God for all eternity. 

And I envision us in a better place than this one, surrounded by His glory, as the music of angels echo across the unfathomable heavens.

“The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, ‘Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.’”  John 1:29 (ESV)

“And one of the elders said to me, ‘Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.’”  Revelation 5:5 (ESV)

“Know that the Lord, he is God!  It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”  Psalm 100:3 (ESV)

"The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" #justtrust #faith

— Patty Mills (@UpForTheJourney) August 23, 2013

Mentoring and Being Mentored

Mentoring and Being Mentored

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

 “I’d like to talk to you about the Apples of Gold event coming up this Fall.  Do you know about it?,” said a sweet church lady as we were passing in the hallway.

 

“Yes.  That’s the mentoring program, right?” I replied.  She smiled and nodded her head as she continued right down the hallway.  Which left me more than a little confused… 

 

Fresh out of individual Biblical counseling, I began my search for a mentor.  A mature woman with whom I could build an honest, deep, spiritually-satisfying relationship.  I didn’t know many women at my church, yet, so I prayed for God to guide me to the perfect woman.  And He did.  

“I’m really busy right now.  How about sometime next month?” she said.  “And I don’t particularly like the word mentor.  How about encourager or prayer warrior, instead. ” 

With diminished enthusiasm, I marked an agreeable date on my calendar and continued to pray but this time, “God, are you sure that she is the one? “ 

“Trust me, she’s the one,” He reassured me.

With the spiritual gift of encouragement, you will find that people are naturally drawn to you.  Don’t get the big head, though, because it isn’t really YOU they are drawn to at all…it is your gift. 

And it isn’t always a good thing.  For example, one of my dear friends had begun to come to me on a regular basis to vent about all the bad things going on in her life.  Time and again, I encouraged her to find a church home, to pray and seek God in all things, to turn them all over to Him, but she seemed to just tune me out. 

I began to feel overwhelmed as I watched her life continue to spiral out of control.  My heart ached for her.  Her situations were very real and very bad but nothing that God couldn’t handle.  But…there’s the rub, because I couldn’t MAKE her call out to God.  I began to feel emotionally depleted, used up and frustrated.  Taking my own advice, I prayed and turned my friend over to God and, in turn, He provided me with the insight and words to finally help her. 

“I am your friend but I won’t be your counselor anymore.  That’s not my job title.  Counselors are specially trained to listen to problems and then file them away in their cabinet along with all their other patient’s files.  As my last piece of advice to you, I’m going to recommend that you find a biblical counselor.  And I'm so excited for you because I know God has awesome things planned for you and I can’t wait to hear all about those things.  I love you and am so grateful God has put you in my life.” 

Sometimes, unknowingly, we can get in the way of the Holy Spirit doing His job.  Tweet this! Or maybe we try to be the Holy Spirit, Jr.  We feel we need to fix situations or people.  But they don’t need to be fixed by us.  They need to hit rock bottom so that they don’t have any other option but to call out to God to help them. 

 

And I am reminded of a time not so long ago when I hit that bottom myself. 

 

And though I am grateful for the people who tried to fix me along the way, I am most grateful for the many who made the heart wrenching decision to pray for me, instead, to hit bottom and do it quickly. The ones who knew that by hitting that bottom it would allow me to find out that Jesus was my granite underneath it all.

At our first meeting, my encourager (as she likes to be called) told me about her walk of faith which was so eerily similar to mine that it raised chill bumps all over my body.  “I told you,” God said.  And though she and I don’t have that typical mentoring/mentor relationship (whatever that is), she has been and continues to be one of the most influential women in my life. 

She tells me about classes I should take, events I should participate in, women and organizations I should connect with, credentials that I should check out.  We’ve gone prayer walking around our neighborhood together and we have plans to share the Good News at a booth at the upcoming fair.  And words can’t describe how grateful I am that God put her in my life. 

And I have a sneaking suspicion that she told that sweet church lady to invite me to be a part of the Apples of Gold event coming up in the Fall but I’m still left wondering…did she mean for me to participate as a mentor to others or to be the one receiving the mentoring?

Because God reminds me that I am, and always to be, both.          

“Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.”  Proverbs 25:11 (NLT)

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers of slaves to much wine.  They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”  Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)

“The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.”  Proverbs 12:26 (NLT)

Panic Attacks and Trust

Panic Attacks and Trust

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.”  Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

 

 “How are we going to pay for this?” he asked. 

 

“I honestly don’t know, honey. ” I replied.

 

The idea of sending our youngest to a private Christian school was ridiculous.  She and her sister were less than a month from starting back to school at one of the top academic elementary schools in the southeast.  She’d finished last year with all A’s and having won the good character award in her class more weeks than not.  And tuition?  Free. 

It all started innocently enough. 

“So who is excited about school starting back next month?  We need to start getting ready for it, don’t we?” I said.  What took place over the next hour can only be described as a series of panic attacks.  “Please don’t make me go back.” 

Over and over again the plea came between uncontrollable sobs.  I prayed for God to intervene, to calm her spirit, to give us peace, to guide us and be with us.  I told her that mommy and daddy’s plans were for her to go back to her normal school this year but...maybe we should ask God what His plans were for us.  A calm came over her and minutes later, she fell asleep.

Sleep did not come so easily for her father and me, though. 

“How are we going to pay for this?”  “We can’t pay for this.”  “This is ridiculous.  She just needs to suck it up and go.”  “Yes, I remember her not wanting to go back after holidays and time off from school last year…about how difficult it was for her to adjust to going there…but she did fine.”  “What about our oldest child?  Will she want to go too?  Will she feel slighted if we send her little sister but then don’t send her?”  “What if she doesn’t like it at the new school we send her to?” 

The angry questions bounced around in our minds and between us, taking on a life of their own, as we struggled to comprehend what this change would mean to us financially and as a family and individually.

In the weeks to come, God would make our path to the new school abundantly clear…which did NOT necessarily make it any easier to follow it.  I actually prayed at times for God to close doors.  To just turn our youngest's heart around.  To make it so that she wanted to go back to her old school. 

But God’s plans were bigger than our fears Tweet this! and the doors leading to this path were being flung wide open.  The choice was ours...would we leap through them?

“Why, yes, we do have just a spot available in our first grade class but just one…”

 “Why, yes, we do have financial aid available but the Board is actually meeting tomorrow to decide about financial aid recipients.  You could just turn it in and see what happens...” 

“Mrs. Mills:  I just wanted to let you know that the Board has approved your request for financial aid.  Oh, you are welcome.  You will have five days to either accept or decline acceptance..." 

Five days.  We were still far from being able to pay for tuition, much less the other fees.  But God had a plan for that, as well.  We were given half of the money as a gift – not a loan – a gift.   The remaining money we had to take out in a loan. 

Last month, in an effort to save money, we had found ways to reduce some of our outgoing monthly expenses to the tune of saving $165 a month.  Our new loan payment would be $161 a month.  This was not a coincidence.  It was also not a coincidence that our oldest had no interest in attending this new school.  She was perfectly happy going to her old school. 

But still hurdles to jump and quickly, as school starts now in two weeks.  Letters of reference are needed, school supplies, uniforms, a preplanned family vacation that had already been scheduled to take place the same week the new school starts…all of this was handled in ways that only God could have managed.  He smoothed out every last detail, took every last worry (that we would give Him) and turned them into praises, into this testimony of faith. 

It’s been 3 weeks now since our youngest started school and she loves it.  She is thriving, flourishing, and looks at us with grateful eyes that say, “Thank you.” 

Our oldest started school this past week and she loves being there, as well.  We'd always been told that this particular school wasn't the right fit for every kid.  I'd have to enthusiastically agree.

And my husband and I still worry at times.  "How we will pay for other upcoming expenses?"  "What about our plan to get out of debt?"  "Summer care?"  "Next year?"  "What if..."

That's when God reminds us to captivate those worry-filled thoughts.  To pray, instead.  To tell Him what we need.  To thank Him for all He has done.  All He is doing for us.  For His many promises that His path is always right, always good, always one that leads to life, not death.  And that if we will just continue to trust and obey Him that He will continue to pour out blessings upon us, more than we could ever imagine or dare to dream.  

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”  Romans 8:28 (NLT)

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’  declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

“The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.’”  Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  Matthew 19:26 (NIV)

Suspicious Substance and Righteousness

Suspicious Substance and Righteousness

  "For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.  But God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous.  He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty of our sin.”  Romans 3:23-24 (NLT)


The call was calm but firm and clear:  “Please evacuate the building.  This is an emergency.” 



The letter contained what was being called a “suspicious white substance” and our mail carrier, the secretary who had opened it, the supervisor who had investigated it, a coworker who had brushed off the evacuation in order to continue working, another coworker who hadn’t heard the call, and our head of investigations whose job it was to stay and clear the building, were all being held until the situation could be sorted out by the proper authorities.

Evacuees filed outside into the rain and were surrounded by fire and rescue trucks, police units, street blockades, red “danger” tape around the perimeter of the building.  The command from officials was to congregate at the Dexter Avenue King Memorial Baptist Church and stay put until given the all clear.   “How fitting“, I thought, “that we would be provided refuge from danger and the elements by the house of God - like so many before us had been.“  

As the door to the church closed behind us, we caught a glimpse of rescue workers in blue hazardous waste suits donning oxygen tanks and a tent-like structure being set up on the front stoop of our building…

The docent was happy to accommodate us with a condensed version of the normal tour.  She told of this beautiful church, steeped in rich history and shown true favor from the Almighty, having never been architecturally compromised in any way, even though it stood only a block from the Capitol during the civil rights era when church bombings were rampant in the South. This was especially surprising in light of its pastor from 1954-1960 who had been none other than Martin Luther King, Jr.   One of his more famous quotes is inscribed into the backdrop of a water element also located across the street from our building:  “Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

“If something goes down, I wanna be sittin’ by the chick with the Jesus pin, ” said a coworker sitting beside me on the church pew -  but only half-jokingly.  “Truth!,” I said.  “Cause me and Jesus are tight – but I can’t take you with me.  You and Him have to be tight, you know?”  He furrowed his brows a little and I said, “Admit…believe…call out.”  He shook his head in what I took to mean recognition and agreement.  Later, God would allow me to encourage a young intern in her faith as she struggled with fears over the deployment of her boyfriend to Afghanistan soon and about her young brother who had plans to go into the military.

An official updated us  – “First test has come back negative.  But we were not free to go just yet.  Another test is being performed.  Please plan on staying until you are given the all clear.  That is all for now.”

New faces joined us inside the church as Rev. Cromwell A. Handy, the current pastor, approached the pulpit.  He announced he was delighted the Lord had answered His prayer for a harvest (chuckles erupted from the crowd) and he invited us to stay for their normal weekly Wednesday Bible study which was about to start.  He extended acceptance, comfort and encouragement to us and gave God the glory for how all things work together for our good.

He was interrupted by another official update – “You are allowed to leave the premises but no one could return to the building just yet.  Thank you for handling this professionally.”    As people rose to leave, Pastor Cromwell took a moment to pray for us and our families.

Emerging from the church, we found a scene right out of a movie.

One by one, the six contaminated employees were walked from the building, past the tent, and made to stand spread eagle, as hazardous waste officials meticulously scrubbed them down with a large brush and then meticulously rinsed them off in the same fashion.  They disappeared into the tent, only to resurface minutes later donning the same blue hazard suit and were ushered into a fire rescue truck.

The call is calm but firm and clear.

“Please evacuate your sinful life.  Admit you are a sinner - confess and repent of your sins.  Believe in me - that Christ died to save you from your sins.  Call out to me - to be your Savior and Lord of your life.  This is an emergency.“  But how many of us carry sins around, open them up,  investigate them, brush off God’s call because we are too busy or maybe because our heart is so hardened that we don’t even hear the call, or feel obligated to stay trapped in our sinful life?

He wants us to confess and then repent of the sins that are so harmful to us and our relationship with Him.  To allow Him to scrub us clean, to decontaminate our life, through Jesus’ blood.   To claim the title that He has already given us as being righteous.  Tweet this! He wants us to enjoy a new life where we give our cares to Him, rest in Him.  For us to take refuge from the dangers of this world in Him.  And to tell others about Christ and become laborers who pray for a harvest, like Pastor Cromwell.

And the suspicious white substance found in the letter?  Tests confirmed that it was, in fact, harmless.
Unlike our sin.  Which God confirms is, in fact, deadly.  

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 6:23 (NIV)

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  I John 1:9 (ESV)

“Truly the righteous attain life, but whoever pursues evil finds death.”  Proverbs 11:19

“And he said to them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”  Luke 10:2 (ESV)

Free Pass and Chaos

 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.“ James 1:2-3 (NIV)

“If you need a minute to yourself, feel free to take it,” said my husband cautiously from across our living room. 

I had come in late from work, full of stress, and with expectations that no one had met. Not a thought about dinner, school stuff and empty chip bags littered the house, the T.V. was too loud, husband in a comfy chair and children glued to their electronics. 

“Chaos!,” I thought (and might have actually said). Why am I the only one here who sees the need here for dinner...structure...order...routine!!?

My girls, my husband and myself are Christians. We’ve even been baptized (and myself - rebaptized) as public professions of our faith and loyalty to Christ as our Lord and Savior. Why is it, then, that we all still encounter what seems to be endless problems? Tweet this! Isn’t our salvation supposed to be our free pass to a less troublesome, more joyful life? Why are we still constantly faced with communication problems, selfishness, anger, depression, anxiety attacks, physical ailments, addictions, financial problems, marital strife, friendship heartaches, family issues, fear, and worry?

God gave Adam and Eve a perfect environment. A place that contained everything they would ever need where they walked and talked with God each day. But was their perfect environment a free pass to a trouble free life? Nope. 

What about Jesus? He was the Son of God, fully God and fully man at the same time, perfect and sinless. But did that guarantee him a free pass to a problem free life? Nope. 

So does that mean we are doomed to joyless life here on earth? Nope.

Listen close...we DO have a free pass – good for one entry into a sinless, pain free dwelling place with Him for eternity. Too often we focus on the problems and not the hope Tweet this! – the hope that there is more to come than this temporary world and its problems and brokenness – the hope that even though we will have to endure problems in this world, that we have a God who is with us through all of them – the hope that every one of those problems had to pass through His hands to get to us and that He allows them because He intends for it to refine us, strengthen our faith, draw us closer to Him. Tweet this!

My oldest tentatively came back in the room – after having promptly exited at the first opportunity after our makeshift dinner - and said, “Mom, I wanted to apologize for whatever I did to upset you.” My heart broke a little. “It's okay, baby. You didn't do anything that I can think of. I apologize for being so fussy. Do you forgive me?” 

My next apology went to my youngest, who was peeking from around the corner, wondering if she was still in time out for having twice interrupted my “talk” with my husband earlier. “I'm sorry for being so fussy earlier, honey. Do you forgive me?” 

And I will say, in the midst of our talk, I apologized to my husband for hurting his feelings but the real apology came after a good night's sleep, prayers and the realization of how hurtful my behavior and words really were to him - I hadn't even noticed he'd cut the grass in the back yard. 

I asked him to pray for me, told him how much I needed him and loved him. And we “hugged it out,” as he called it. And I thanked God for His free pass of salvation to me and the free pass of forgiveness that my family gives me on a daily basis.

“Many adversities come to the one who is righteous, but the Lord delivers him from them all.“ Psalm 34:19

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.“ Romans 12:12 (ESV)

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.“ 1 Peter 4:12 (ESV)

St. John and Smiles

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

I once lived on St. John, a US Virgin Island. 

Worked at the Mongoose Restaurant in Cruz Bay and lived with friends on the other side of the island, near Saltpond Bay. Work days started and ended as hikes across a beautiful mountain top (when my efforts at hitchhiking weren’t productive). My off days were spent exploring luscious trails, gorgeous beaches and meeting new friends – one time even a famous one (Peter Gabriel – though youngsters may need to google him). It was a place where old, weathered island men still played dominos in the town square and the faint sound of calypso music mixed with the warm Caribbean breeze. A place where no one ever seemed to worry or be in a hurry.

I once lived on St. John, a US Virgin Island. 

Worked at the Mongoose Restaurant in Cruz Bay as a mathematically challenged waitress and bartender and lived with my always drunk ex boyfriend and some people he’d happened to make friends with a couple of months before my arrival – with $50, a back pack and return ticket my only possessions. Sharing a cramped space with strangers and their one jeep, I made long treks across a dangerous mountain back and forth to work…often walking at night and alone. Riotous living got me messed up with some native islanders, pretty nasty drug dealers that put very little value on human life, and it’s only by God’s grace that I got off that island relatively unharmed.

“My smile hides a dark story,” said my cashier with joy in her eyes. 

Checking out at Big Lots the other day, my cashier had told me she liked my Jesus pin. I happily told her my story of redemption and she - just as happily back - told me about her and her husband’s recent redemption, about a month earlier. How their lives had gotten way off track and how people often smile to cover up deep pain, a story that others would never know if they didn’t take the time to stop and find it out. Covering up the deeper story that God wants to use to help others see hope…the hope that only He can provide in this broken, sinful world where pain, death, and fear reside, behind half-truths in “I’m fine” replies, FB pictures of you at the beach, and those deceptive smiles... 

But (now GET this folks!) God gives you the power over your past story or your present story because He specializes in renewed beginnings, clean slates, and happy endings. Tweet this! Praise be to Him.

“Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies.” Psalm 107:2 (NIV)

“I used to wander off until you disciplined me; but now I closely follow your word.” Psalm 119:67 (NIV)

“If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” Mark 8:38 (NIV)

“You are my refuge and my shield; your word in my source of hope.” Psalm 119:114 (NIV)

Cat Puke and Love

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (NIV)

We’re sitting around the dinner table the other night, enjoying our homemade enchiladas and rice when I hear that unmistakable sound -- gagging, choking and then “blah-pth” -- cat throw up. Right under the dinner table…then again on the other side of the table…then again a couple of steps further. 


Welcome to my gross world with four indoor cats. 

One filled with us spending most of our time cleaning up poop, pee, hairballs, tufts of fur that resemble tumbleweeds and throw up found in the funniest places (do you HEAR the sarcasm?) 

We have 3 litter boxes that really need to be changed daily but that we change about twice a week which means my house likely reeks of cat urine to the outside world. Fortunately for us, I guess, we must have grown accustomed to the smell and have friends that are kind enough to visit us anyway. 

And the truth is, if I’m honest, I really don’t even particularly like cats. 

I inherited three of them when I married my husband. I had one already but only because I couldn’t have a dog at the apartment I was living in and I got desperate for company and broke down and got one. And did you know that cats live a very, very long time. Like 20 years long? 

My best friend’s son is allergic to cats so they can’t visit us often or for long. Which got me to thinking…what if I were to come down with a cat allergy…or someone accidentally left the door open and they escaped…or someone lost a cat and we could help them by donating one or four of them… I’ve always considered myself an animal lover so why do I find myself loathing these cute, playful little balls of fur?

When someone is nice to you, does things for you, makes you feel good, adds value to your life, makes your life easier, loving them feels natural. 

But what about the grumpy woman in my office…or the church lady who was so rude to me the other night…or the man who sexually abused me as a kid? Does God really expect me to be able to love him? I mean, geesh, wouldn’t it be like a huge thing for me to just be able to forgive him? But love him? Impossible! 

But see…that’s where God steps in. He says, "You can’t. Nobody could. Not by yourself. It is impossible…without Me."  He says all we have to do is ask Him and He’ll send the Holy Spirit to fill us with His love and then we just let it flow - from Him - through us - to those people. You are a vessel for His love, not the creator of it. Tweet this!

So, as I try not to gag cleaning out stinky litter boxes or faint while wiping up cat throw up or not freak out while trying to squeeze money out of an already stretched budget for 4 cat vet visits and their flea/tick medicine…I am reminded of all the times God has done the impossible and how He is actually using these cats to begin to teach me how to love the unlovable. And I lay all this at Jesus’ feet. And guess, what? 

I start to remember the way my husband pets those cats. How it calms him and melts away his stress. I remember how he used them to entertain our girls when they were babies and times now when the girls get a kick out of playing with them. 

And all of the sudden, loving them…and others…doesn’t seem quite so impossible for me anymore.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” Luke 6:32

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.’” Mark 10:27 (NIV)

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28 (NIV)

“The godly care for their animals, but the wicked are always cruel.” Proverbs 12:10 (NLT)

“We love because he first loved us.” I John 4:19 (NIV)

Serenity Prayer and Zeal

Reinhold Niebuhr

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

Today marks two major milestones in my life…my 10 year wedding anniversary (I love you, baby!) and my 8 month divorce from cigarettes (Good riddance, you life sucking addiction!)

Lies! That’s what addictions are and they are straight from the devil because, honestly, how else can you explain the insanity of doing something that...

• kills
• controls
• drives a wedge between yourself and your spouse
• negatively influences and impacts your children, family and friends
• drains your finances
• compromises your job
• corrupts your life and causes strive, fear and turmoil
• and consistently separates you from a holy God

 No one in their right mind would choose that, right? But there’s the rub…addiction says,

“Don’t worry about all that stuff. It doesn’t really matter. It’s not really a sin. You’re not hurting anybody. Nobody even really knows. Plus, I’m not all that bad. Other people do me all the time. You should be able to do what you want and you want me, right? I make you feel good. There’s nothing wrong in that. I’ve always been here for you. I’m your best friend. You can’t live without me. You can’t cope with life without me. Who will you turn to?”

I’ve been there before lots of times with cigarettes (and other addictions) and have even mustered up the willpower to quit, one time for almost a year.

But you know what? You can’t truly beat addiction without God. Tweet this!

Because that same self that wants to quit is the same self that wants to keep doing it and it takes God to remove that desire. 

If you prayed right now for God to remove the desire for that addiction He will answer that prayer and your head is gonna spin at how quickly and completely God will remove that life sucking addiction from your life.  When I prayed that prayer 8 months ago, I tested God to see if He’d really answered my prayer…I tried to smoke and (1) it tasted awful and (2) I felt like Jesus was sitting right beside me in my car, looking at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen in your life and my heart was so heavy with the weight of his disappointment that I couldn’t throw that cigarette away fast enough!  And I haven’t picked one back up since.

Some people might say that I have an addictive personality but I like to call it the spiritual gift of zeal (as a sweet friend tagged it the other day).

It’s my God-given desire to jump in with two feet, guns a-blazing, throwing caution to the wind, doing it on a large scale, louder, bigger, and better. My zeal begs the question, “If one is good, then 10 must be better, right?”

But, like all of our spiritual gifts, if we don’t lay them at Jesus feet, give Him complete control of them, constantly pray for guidance, keep in the Word, surround ourselves with Godly people…the devil will try to get us to use our gift for him. Tweet this! 

And though our God is mightier than the devil, He gives us a choice in how we use those gifts or if we even use them at all. Tweet this! 

My challenge to you today is to take that unhealthy addiction - pornography, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever it is - and give it to God. He promises to replace it with something more fulfilling that gives you...

• freedom
• enhances your life
• builds unity between yourself and your spouse
• positively influences and impacts your children, family and friends
• bolsters your finances
• improves your job
• brings joy to your life and causes peace, love and civility
• and consistently draws you closer to Him

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

 

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 (NIV)