Cockfighting and Amazing Grace

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)


I can still remember the excitement of getting to miss church so we could go visit my “Grandpa on the mountain.” Because there were usually surprises along the way. 

An old service station at the bottom of the mountain where we would get root beers in glass bottles; a flea market where there were puppies for sale; the feeling that we were going to fall off the mountain as my dad drove way too close to the side. 



But always, as we started down the dirt drive towards the old house, my excitement turned to nervousness.

Pictures of my Grandpa in his youth showed a tall, handsome, slightly arrogant looking man. But after years working in the coal mines, his looks and health prematurely withered. 

He and my grandmother had divorced back before divorce was accepted as the norm. Both of them had bad tempers, but my Grandpa‘s violent temper was legendary. 

Did he really beat his brother with a tire iron? You know he used to run moonshine, didn’t you? So you mean he uses those pretty roosters in fights? Does he really hit them with his cane? 

I can barely remember him looking for the perfect stump to find fiddling worms for a fishing trip with my dad. Somewhere along the line, he started using a cane to walk.

More vivid are the memories of him angrily shaking his cane, demanding someone bring him “this or that” as he coughed and gasped for air. Somewhere along the line, an oxygen tank appeared along with a folded up napkin he kept in his hand for when the coughing fits hit.

And then came the appearance of an old Bible…

When they brought in the hospital bed, the old Bible and him became inseparable. He desperately clung to it, holding it tightly to his chest. Sometimes he would shake it at us while trying to tell us something very important that I could never quite understand. 

And I remember being angry. 

How dare you, I thought. How dare you try to act like you’re good now. Now that you are dying do you think you just get to grab a Bible and it will magically wipe out all the bad things you’ve done all your life? No, Grandpa, it doesn’t work like that. You haven’t done anything good. You don’t get to just go to heaven after all that stuff. 

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor started a series of sermons on grace. How grace isn’t earned and we can’t lose it.  None of us deserve it.  It is God’s free and amazing gift to us. Tweet this!

He became emotional as he reminded us of the criminal who hung on a cross beside our Savior. About the saving grace our Lord extended to him, just moments before He died. How he wasn’t required to jump off the cross and make amends to all those he had wronged, go serve the poor and minister to the needy in order to be granted access to heaven.

My years of self righteousness melted away and in its place sprung up humility and gratefulness. And I marveled in the wonder I felt knowing that the only requirement from God was to accept His amazing gift of grace, which is wholly sufficient.  Tweet this!


Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:42-43 (NLT)

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 (NLT)

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13 (NIV)

Cat Puke and Love

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (NIV)

We’re sitting around the dinner table the other night, enjoying our homemade enchiladas and rice when I hear that unmistakable sound -- gagging, choking and then “blah-pth” -- cat throw up. Right under the dinner table…then again on the other side of the table…then again a couple of steps further. 


Welcome to my gross world with four indoor cats. 

One filled with us spending most of our time cleaning up poop, pee, hairballs, tufts of fur that resemble tumbleweeds and throw up found in the funniest places (do you HEAR the sarcasm?) 

We have 3 litter boxes that really need to be changed daily but that we change about twice a week which means my house likely reeks of cat urine to the outside world. Fortunately for us, I guess, we must have grown accustomed to the smell and have friends that are kind enough to visit us anyway. 

And the truth is, if I’m honest, I really don’t even particularly like cats. 

I inherited three of them when I married my husband. I had one already but only because I couldn’t have a dog at the apartment I was living in and I got desperate for company and broke down and got one. And did you know that cats live a very, very long time. Like 20 years long? 

My best friend’s son is allergic to cats so they can’t visit us often or for long. Which got me to thinking…what if I were to come down with a cat allergy…or someone accidentally left the door open and they escaped…or someone lost a cat and we could help them by donating one or four of them… I’ve always considered myself an animal lover so why do I find myself loathing these cute, playful little balls of fur?

When someone is nice to you, does things for you, makes you feel good, adds value to your life, makes your life easier, loving them feels natural. 

But what about the grumpy woman in my office…or the church lady who was so rude to me the other night…or the man who sexually abused me as a kid? Does God really expect me to be able to love him? I mean, geesh, wouldn’t it be like a huge thing for me to just be able to forgive him? But love him? Impossible! 

But see…that’s where God steps in. He says, "You can’t. Nobody could. Not by yourself. It is impossible…without Me."  He says all we have to do is ask Him and He’ll send the Holy Spirit to fill us with His love and then we just let it flow - from Him - through us - to those people. You are a vessel for His love, not the creator of it. Tweet this!

So, as I try not to gag cleaning out stinky litter boxes or faint while wiping up cat throw up or not freak out while trying to squeeze money out of an already stretched budget for 4 cat vet visits and their flea/tick medicine…I am reminded of all the times God has done the impossible and how He is actually using these cats to begin to teach me how to love the unlovable. And I lay all this at Jesus’ feet. And guess, what? 

I start to remember the way my husband pets those cats. How it calms him and melts away his stress. I remember how he used them to entertain our girls when they were babies and times now when the girls get a kick out of playing with them. 

And all of the sudden, loving them…and others…doesn’t seem quite so impossible for me anymore.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” Luke 6:32

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.’” Mark 10:27 (NIV)

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28 (NIV)

“The godly care for their animals, but the wicked are always cruel.” Proverbs 12:10 (NLT)

“We love because he first loved us.” I John 4:19 (NIV)

Prison Time and Marriage

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) 

I’ve only been to prison once and that was to notarize a document. But when those iron bars clanged shut behind me, it gave me chills. 

I’ve thought about that day a lot lately because my sweet “I’m in love with Jesus” friend has been called to take the Good News to the women at the Julia Tutwiler Prison. 

The headlines have been full of reports of abuse going on at that prison - unspeakable things happening - and honestly, until just recently I thought:

“So what? I mean, they are prisoners so whatever happens to them is pretty much their own fault for going and breaking the law to go to prison in the first place, right? 

And I’m sure they’ve done unspeakable things to others so ‘an eye for an eye‘, isn’t that in the Bible?” 

But, boy, once God rooted out my pride and showed me how much worse I deserved for all the unspeakable things I had done, for all of His laws that I had broken, and then He showed me His love, mercy, grace and forgiveness by choosing to take me back into His fold, His prodigal daughter, and wash me clean as snow and cover me in his righteousness...wow, my heart goes out to those women. 

But one woman in particular: my aunt. 

She‘s in that prison for murder right now and probably for the rest of her life. 

I pray that she’s hearing the Good News from my friend…that she has cried out to God from behind those iron bars and received His saving grace and mercy. 

I wonder how many times she has she wept over the life she took…and how many times the victim’s family and friends have wept. I wonder if she even knows that her son is getting married next month…

My husband and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this Thursday, August 1.

We had planned to memorialize it by recommitting our vows to each other and our marriage to God - just the two of us, our girls, and our awesome, Holy Spirit filled Pastor.

But we received news yesterday that my grandmother had passed away and though we are celebrating her going to be with Jesus and my Grandpa, we are sad, too. So we’ve put our plans on hold until we see how God wants to shake that out for us.

Besides, I recommit my marriage to God (and my life and my family) pretty much every morning so I’m okay with waiting on the formality…but I’m still super excited that we both would want to officially remarry each other because, at one time, we both felt kinda like prisoners in our marriage.

The “till death do you part” sounded like a life sentence because it seemed like we were angry with each other most of the time because we couldn’t figure out how to make each other feel loved*.

God continues to astonish me with His miracles in my life, but I guess working miracles in people’s lives are like his trademark thing, isn’t it?

*Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages book.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”  Matthew 5:21-22 (ESV)

“I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.”  Matthew 25:36 (ESV)

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (ESV)

Pencil Thief and Tithing

"Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV) 

I stole a pencil in first grade.

It was one of those big, fat pencils and I couldn’t find mine so I just took my friend’s pencil.

Well, at that time in my Christian school, you got something called demerits for small infractions, like running in the hall, and you got something called licks with a wooden paddle for the bigger infractions, like stealing.

I got 3 licks that day and it hurt and I was so embarrassed and that was pretty much the end of my thieving career.

I didn’t think much about tithing until last year.

Really thought it was kinda optional. Then I read a book that my best friend gave my husband called “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller. In it, he describes not tithing as stealing from God. Tweet this! Wow. That really got my attention.

I pushed for a new tradition in my family, immediately, of corporal tithing. Problem was, my husband and I couldn’t agree on the figures. Then, a wise counselor told us that tithing could mean the giving of other resources, besides money - like our time, energy, talents, and skills. Tweet this!

Once I quit seeing God as a bill collector who expected his 10% payment, I was able to embrace what tithing really is supposed to be. Just another way to glorify God by happily giving back to Him what He gave me in the first place.

Now let me say a quick word about spankings, please. My husband and I don’t spank our kids. We tried it and it just doesn‘t work for our family. I know people who swear by spanking - say it works great with their family.

But here’s the deal - listen REAL close - discipline, especially spanking, needs to come from a place of love, where your goal is to teach and correct. Don‘t you ever use it as a way to vent your anger and frustrations because you know what that’s called? Abuse. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that for now.

“If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.” Ephesians 4:28 (NLT)

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God.” James 1:19 (NIV)

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)