Ice Cream and Doubt

"Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour."  Matthew 15:28

“I don’t want {sob} you to leave, mommy {sob}.”

 It was the second time in 4  days I’d heard this tearful plea from my youngest.


First, just before my trip to Atlanta for a Women of Faith conference and now, again, as I tried to leave early to help out with the Law Enforcement Summit.

“Sweetie, I love you so much.  But you know who loves you more?  Who will never leave you, even when mommy has to?” I said, hugging her tightly.

“God,” answers my oldest, who’d been listening from across the room.  “Yes, that’s right.  God.” I affirmed.

“But I can’t see Him,”  Her eyes were honest and pleading and filled to overflowing with tears. 

Rewind to 4 days ago at 3:30 am…

“Mom, you’re gonna break my heart if you go,” she cried as she clung to me.

“God is with you, baby, and He will comfort you and be with you, even when mommy isn’t.”

We prayed and as God's peace eventually settled over us we were able to enjoy the sweet treat of having the next couple of hours together, just she and I ~ exactly what both of us needed.  {But God is just awesome that way, isn't He? Always providing for our needs, often in unexpected ways, when we pray and ask for it.  I love having a Heavenly Father who lavishes us with his blessings. Tweet this!} 

Fast forward to today...

"We are doing this, again?" I internally question.  The same tearful plea to stay.  The same gracious God whose peace settles us down, again.  This time, though, her honest question of doubt resonated within me:  "But I can’t see Him…”

As part of the reward for her settling down, I made a promise to join her for lunch.  So when work obligations caused me to leave a little later than expected, I became impatient.  Then encountered an unmarked police car on the interstate and became frustrated.  So much so that I ended up missing the intended exit.

Doubt kicked into full gear:  “I’m not going to have any time with her.  I’m going to miss her whole lunch hour.  I might as well turn around.  {Lightbulb moment!}  God, what should I do?“ 

“You should trust me.  Don’t you believe that I am with her always?  That I can be trusted to care for her and comfort her when you aren’t around?  Isn’t that what you told her this morning?  Don't you believe it?“ 

Surrender and peace washed over me.  I slowed down.  And railing against my sinful, doubting instincts…I stopped for ice cream!  What a joy and freedom I felt in surrendering to God’s truth, the knowledge that He could do anything, that He was with Bella to comfort and protect her.  Tweet this!  In that instant, I'd moved from doubt to belief and the realization that I didn't need to know all the details of how or why.    

Arriving at the end of her lunch period, with she and her classmates getting ready to depart the lunchroom, I honestly didn't know what to expect.  Was God going to teach me that his grace was sufficient when missing a promised lunchtime visit with my daughter?  Would He turn back the hands of time? Nope.  Neither of those. 

What He did was, nonetheless a miracle.  He prompted the teacher to offer to allow my child to stay past the normal lunch hour in order to enjoy an ice cream with me, the late-to-lunch mom.     

As Bella and I enjoyed our special, divinely provided time together, I thanked God for the big scoops of faith He always provides me with peace sprinkled on top.

"The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace."  Psalm 29:11

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27

 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8

The {Word} Wednesday, September 25: Fear

Definitions:

Fear - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  [terror, fright, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease, apprehension, nervousness, perturbation, foreboding]

Fear - regard (God) with reverence and awe [revere, reverence, venerate, respect]

God gave us the emotion of fear as (1) a warning signal to keep us safe and (2) a way to experience a healthy boundary with, and view of, our Holy and Almighty Father.  But when we allow fear to go beyond these purposes created by God, we are falling prey to one of the devil’s greatest lies. One that he loves to use on us Christians because it paralyzes us, renders us useless, and holds us back from obeying Jesus. 

What does the Bible have to say about fear? 

You will find the command “fear not” in variations in Scripture nearly 150 times, most often accompanied by a loving reassurance from God. 

Consider just the following samples:

Genesis 15:1 - “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield.”

Genesis 26:24 - “I am the God of Abraham your father.  Fear not, I am with you.”

Genesis 28:15 - “I am with you.”

Exodus 33:14 - “My presence will go with you.”

Psalm 23:4 - “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”

2 Chronicles 20:17 - “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed.  Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”

Isaiah 41:14 - “Fear not, you worm Jacob….I am the one who helps you.”

Jeremiah 1:8 - “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you.”

Consider the following samples about fearing God:

Psalm 111:10 - “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.  His praise endures forever!”

1 Peter 2:17 - “Honor everyone.  Love the brotherhood.  Fear God.  Honor the emperor.”

Proverbs 19:23 - “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.”

Proverbs 14:27 - “The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.”

Proverbs 8:13 - “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.”

How do we combat sinful fear?

Prayer.  It’s your 24/7 hotline straight to God. Your Father, the Creator of the Universe, has access to unlimited resources and longs to pour out His peace and blessings on you, if you will only seek Him through prayer.

God’s Word.  It’s your sword and shield in the battle against the devil‘s lies.  Hide it in your heart by memorizing verses to use when you feel afraid.  Verses that empower you and remind you of His sovereign and wholly good character.

The Church.  Not the building.  The people.  The fellowship of believers.  Foster strong relationships with His people and reach out to them in times of distress. 

When we do these things, it will remind us that our human view is limited and faulty and will encourage us to trust the One who knows it all.  Instead of losing hope for the future, we will begin to see a future with Him in it, actively helping us.  Instead of worrying, it will help us stop predicting things that may not - and most likely will not - come to pass.  But we must surrender control of our lives to Him daily. 

Because we live in a sinful, fallen world, sinful fear permeates our lives but that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to it.  Instead, we should engage ourselves in an intentional battle of spiritual warfare against this force that threatens to disarm us and render us useless for Christ. 

We can draw comfort from the promise Jesus made to his disciples, which is still true for us today -  “I am with you always to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20

Taken in part from “4 Reasons Why We Fear” by Pastor Mark Driscoll, May 9, 2012  <http://pastormark.tv/2012/05/09/4-reasons-why-we-fear>

My “go-to” verses in dealing with fear:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.“  Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13 (NLT)

“ Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. . . . And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? . . . For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.”  Luke 12:22-31

Questions for thought/discussion: 

What fears have you paralyzed today? How are you dealing with those fears? Is your method of battling fears working? Why or why not?

Jesus List and Boundaries

“An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”  Proverbs 27:5-6 (NLT)

It seems I’ve been apologizing an awful lot lately. 

• I’m sorry my late night text woke you (um, correction, woke your husband). 
• I’m sorry you keep getting an annoying email reminder to “join me on Twitter.”
• I’m sorry that I make you uncomfortable with the way I share scripture/my faith/my prayers.
• I’m sorry for being grumpy, losing my temper, getting stressed out, yelling, fussing, speaking unkindly, being thoughtless, not making enough time for you…

An encourager by God’s design, my whole being revolts at the thought of having said or done something offensive to others.  Literally, it makes me sick to my stomach.

And then my mind rushes to defend my words or actions.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  They misunderstood.  They are being ridiculous/too sensitive/(insert word here).  It’s not my fault.  I can’t help it.  It’s their problem, not mine.”   

Sometimes, my defenses might even be true.  But it’s always God's way of using people or situations to remind me of a healthy boundary or alert me to an unknown barrier. Tweet this!

Soon after recommitting my life to Christ, I began emailing certain people to let them know what God was doing in my life.  But only the ones God laid on my heart and that I’d prayed over.  I’d share a story and some scripture maybe once a week. 

Within the first couple of weeks, I received an email from one of my friends asking me to take her off the “mass Jesus email list.” That God just wasn’t her “thing.” Ouch.  I felt nauseous.

The main difference between a boundary and a barrier is the motive.  A healthy boundary grows from love while a barrier is erected out of fear. Tweet this!

So when we encounter something that gives us that sick feeling in our stomach (like a criticism) it is essential that we quickly figure out if it is meant to help us or hurt us*.  

Let’s just be honest, here.  No one likes criticism.  We’d all much prefer to go through life with nothing but praises and pats on the back at how fabulous we are all the time. 

But as sinners living in a sinful world, we need to seek out and cherish those Godly friends who are brave enough and who love us enough to provide us with constructive, kind criticism.  And we also need to be that kind of friend to another.  Because we all have areas of our live where we could be more Christ-like. 

And for those people who erect the barriers, you ask?  The ones that harshly criticize out of fear, thoughtlessness, pride, hate, jealously, or misunderstanding?  You seek God’s help in showing them Christ’s love.  Because hurt people hurt people.     

And my friend, the one who asked to be taken off my “Jesus” list?  I credit her with beginning me down the path I find myself on today.  “What if email is too intrusive?  Wonder if there is a better way to share my faith, my stories, the Good News with people? …”

I sent her a thank you email a while back.  Told her how genuinely grateful and inspired I was by her request.  She was surprised and skeptical, I think, but her replies back to me gradually softened.  And I am hopeful that God will continue to do a great work of love in her heart and that, one day, the barrier would crumble and she would experience Christ’s overwhelming love through a personal relationship with Him.   

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…”  Genesis 50:20(a) (ESV)

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”  Colossians 4:6 (ESV)

*Source:  Terkeurtst, Lisa.  “Criticism Hurts”  18 June 2012.  Lysaterkeurtst.com <http://lysaterkeurtst.com/2012/06/criticism-hurts/ Monday, June 18 “Criticism Hurts”>  29 August 2013.