Prison Time and Marriage

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) 

I’ve only been to prison once and that was to notarize a document. But when those iron bars clanged shut behind me, it gave me chills. 

I’ve thought about that day a lot lately because my sweet “I’m in love with Jesus” friend has been called to take the Good News to the women at the Julia Tutwiler Prison. 

The headlines have been full of reports of abuse going on at that prison - unspeakable things happening - and honestly, until just recently I thought:

“So what? I mean, they are prisoners so whatever happens to them is pretty much their own fault for going and breaking the law to go to prison in the first place, right? 

And I’m sure they’ve done unspeakable things to others so ‘an eye for an eye‘, isn’t that in the Bible?” 

But, boy, once God rooted out my pride and showed me how much worse I deserved for all the unspeakable things I had done, for all of His laws that I had broken, and then He showed me His love, mercy, grace and forgiveness by choosing to take me back into His fold, His prodigal daughter, and wash me clean as snow and cover me in his righteousness...wow, my heart goes out to those women. 

But one woman in particular: my aunt. 

She‘s in that prison for murder right now and probably for the rest of her life. 

I pray that she’s hearing the Good News from my friend…that she has cried out to God from behind those iron bars and received His saving grace and mercy. 

I wonder how many times she has she wept over the life she took…and how many times the victim’s family and friends have wept. I wonder if she even knows that her son is getting married next month…

My husband and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this Thursday, August 1.

We had planned to memorialize it by recommitting our vows to each other and our marriage to God - just the two of us, our girls, and our awesome, Holy Spirit filled Pastor.

But we received news yesterday that my grandmother had passed away and though we are celebrating her going to be with Jesus and my Grandpa, we are sad, too. So we’ve put our plans on hold until we see how God wants to shake that out for us.

Besides, I recommit my marriage to God (and my life and my family) pretty much every morning so I’m okay with waiting on the formality…but I’m still super excited that we both would want to officially remarry each other because, at one time, we both felt kinda like prisoners in our marriage.

The “till death do you part” sounded like a life sentence because it seemed like we were angry with each other most of the time because we couldn’t figure out how to make each other feel loved*.

God continues to astonish me with His miracles in my life, but I guess working miracles in people’s lives are like his trademark thing, isn’t it?

*Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages book.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”  Matthew 5:21-22 (ESV)

“I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.”  Matthew 25:36 (ESV)

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (ESV)

Sorority Sisters and Forgiveness

Original Artwork by Bobby Mills

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)

My college days consisted of attending night classes while working a full time day job and a part time night job.  Took me the span of 10 years to end up with a 2 year associates degree…but I’m super proud of that degree.

So I didn’t have an opportunity to join a sorority during that time but I’ve always looked in amazement at those people who have managed to keep up their old friendships from college (and some even high school!).

I believe God has given these people a double portion of forgiveness because in order to stay friends with someone that long, you have really got to be able to forgive - and a lot, I mean.

The longest friendships I’ve managed to keep up were 15 and 20 years, respectively, and God brought those to a close about the time I recommitted to Him. Those separations wounded all of us but God, the Great Physician and Healer, has a prescription of forgiveness that He writes for that. Instructions: Apply liberally and often. Tweet this!

God allows relationships in your life to begin, continue and even end so it’s just silly to try and blame the other person or yourself. It’s not about you, or about me, it’s all about Him and bringing Him glory. Tweet this!

And whether you still have your best friends from high school or college or you’ve just started a brand new friendship, remember…it’s not about the length of the friendship, it’s about the depth. Tweet this!

God has blessed me with continuing some older friendships and by establishing some fairly new ones - most of which are extremely deep and rich and rooted in a common love of Christ. But all of which will require forgiveness.
 
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 (NIV)

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” I John 1:9