The {Word} Wednesday, September 25: Fear

Definitions:

Fear - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  [terror, fright, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease, apprehension, nervousness, perturbation, foreboding]

Fear - regard (God) with reverence and awe [revere, reverence, venerate, respect]

God gave us the emotion of fear as (1) a warning signal to keep us safe and (2) a way to experience a healthy boundary with, and view of, our Holy and Almighty Father.  But when we allow fear to go beyond these purposes created by God, we are falling prey to one of the devil’s greatest lies. One that he loves to use on us Christians because it paralyzes us, renders us useless, and holds us back from obeying Jesus. 

What does the Bible have to say about fear? 

You will find the command “fear not” in variations in Scripture nearly 150 times, most often accompanied by a loving reassurance from God. 

Consider just the following samples:

Genesis 15:1 - “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield.”

Genesis 26:24 - “I am the God of Abraham your father.  Fear not, I am with you.”

Genesis 28:15 - “I am with you.”

Exodus 33:14 - “My presence will go with you.”

Psalm 23:4 - “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”

2 Chronicles 20:17 - “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed.  Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”

Isaiah 41:14 - “Fear not, you worm Jacob….I am the one who helps you.”

Jeremiah 1:8 - “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you.”

Consider the following samples about fearing God:

Psalm 111:10 - “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.  His praise endures forever!”

1 Peter 2:17 - “Honor everyone.  Love the brotherhood.  Fear God.  Honor the emperor.”

Proverbs 19:23 - “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.”

Proverbs 14:27 - “The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.”

Proverbs 8:13 - “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.”

How do we combat sinful fear?

Prayer.  It’s your 24/7 hotline straight to God. Your Father, the Creator of the Universe, has access to unlimited resources and longs to pour out His peace and blessings on you, if you will only seek Him through prayer.

God’s Word.  It’s your sword and shield in the battle against the devil‘s lies.  Hide it in your heart by memorizing verses to use when you feel afraid.  Verses that empower you and remind you of His sovereign and wholly good character.

The Church.  Not the building.  The people.  The fellowship of believers.  Foster strong relationships with His people and reach out to them in times of distress. 

When we do these things, it will remind us that our human view is limited and faulty and will encourage us to trust the One who knows it all.  Instead of losing hope for the future, we will begin to see a future with Him in it, actively helping us.  Instead of worrying, it will help us stop predicting things that may not - and most likely will not - come to pass.  But we must surrender control of our lives to Him daily. 

Because we live in a sinful, fallen world, sinful fear permeates our lives but that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to it.  Instead, we should engage ourselves in an intentional battle of spiritual warfare against this force that threatens to disarm us and render us useless for Christ. 

We can draw comfort from the promise Jesus made to his disciples, which is still true for us today -  “I am with you always to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20

Taken in part from “4 Reasons Why We Fear” by Pastor Mark Driscoll, May 9, 2012  <http://pastormark.tv/2012/05/09/4-reasons-why-we-fear>

My “go-to” verses in dealing with fear:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.“  Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13 (NLT)

“ Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. . . . And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? . . . For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.”  Luke 12:22-31

Questions for thought/discussion: 

What fears have you paralyzed today? How are you dealing with those fears? Is your method of battling fears working? Why or why not?

Harley Davidsons and Quitters

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  John 3:17

You were married to someone before daddy?

We initiated the conversation intentionally.  At 6 and 8, we felt they were old enough to know.  Still, it wasn’t entirely comfortable navigating that many questions.

"What's his name?  What's he look like?  Why'd you divorce?  Isn’t divorce a sin? Do I have other brothers or sisters? Where is he now? You rode motorcycles?  (Would these questions end?)




Answering best I could, we talked until they were satisfied and went back to playing.  "Wow," I thought.  "Glad that’s over.  It really wasn‘t that bad."

Yet, days later I still felt the weight of that conversation.  It was the first time I had thought about my divorce in a while.  And the very first time from a recommitted-to-Christ perspective.   

At 23, I'd met a man over 10 years my senior who was as wide open as me.  He had an outlandish personality and style, colorful past, lots of tattoos, long blonde hair, and a love of Harley Davidsons. And I fell head over heels in love with all of it.

We were alike in so many ways but the main difference was pretty distinct.  He was clean and sober and I wasn’t.  It amazed me to see him having more fun than me at bars and strip joints without a drop of alcohol or any drugs.  He was a quitter and proud of it.  So I decided to try it his way for a while. 

Less than a year later, we married.  

We traveled all over the country together.  I started out on the back of his Heritage but quickly ended up with a Sportster of my own.  We hit swap meets and motorcycles rallies from Daytona Beach to Myrtle Beach.  From Sturgis, SD to Four Corners.  We biked along the coast of California from San Diego to San Francisco and back.  We even made a pit stop to hang with a friend of a friend, Jesse James, at his shop, West Coast Choppers.

And I really wish I could tell you something awful happened that led to our divorce.  But, honestly, it was probably the same thing that happens to other couples.  Letting the little things turn into big things.  Not communicating our needs to each other.  Taking each other for granted. 

We noticed it and even put in a good year of couples counseling.  But since God wasn’t a part of our lives or marriage, we picked a secular counselor whose advice was focused on what would make us happy, how we felt, what we wanted.  Eventually, it all felt like just too much work.     

So, seven years after saying “I do” we both said “we quit.”  

God’s Word is clear that divorce is a sin and what I felt was the full weight of my sin.  Which is why I was so grateful that His Word was also clear on His forgiveness of our sins.  But even more than forgiveness, I was blessed.  Blessed to be able to have a message to share with my girls about how important it is they seek God’s will for whom they will marry and in keeping God the focus of their marriage.   

And, on any given Saturday morning, as I watch my husband help out around the house and see my girls playing more than helping, I am so very grateful for a God who makes beautiful things out of our messes.  And for a God who will never quit on us.  

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”  Mark 10:11

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12 (ESV)

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  Ecclesiastes 4:9 (ESV)

It Opens Today...

Woo Hoo!!! TODAY is the day registration opens for our {Re}Committed Lives incourager group through the amazingly fantastic super-powers over at (in)courage!


In case you didn’t know, (in)courage is a captivating online community for women, full of daily encouragement and inspiration. And TODAY we are partnering with them as we kick off this fall session of (in)couragers community groups…

Groups made to connect women beyond just a blog post.

Groups built around common interests or themes,

Made for women just like you, by women just like you!

And we are honored to be serving alongside them this fall! 

They have Bible Study groups, Women in Ministry Groups, Motherhood Groups, Marriage groups, Empty Nester groups, Adoption groups, Professional groups, Student groups, Writing groups, and other Special Interest groups–including abuse survivors, chronic illness, depression, infertility, and hope for hurting families. Over 70 groups waiting for you … to walk alongside you in community!

S-E-V-E-N-T-Y!!!

What could be better than that?

Yet I know, many of us have been hurt or wounded in community, and we are hesitant to take a risk again–too guarded to open our hearts to this scary vulnerable thing called community.

But as Mary DeMuth says, sometimes the thing that has wounded us most, is the very thing God uses to heal us. 

And I promise you there is no safer, more loving place, than (in)courage for  you to begin!

(in)couragers are community and community is connection … and God meets us as we care for one another there. [Tweet that]

We have been planning and preparing and praying for you, that you’d come and connect, and be changed in community!

Each group is limited to 30 members, in order to facilitate interaction in the building of meaningful relationships, and we can’t wait for you to see what is waiting for you there.

Won’t you join us?

Join us and be changed by the power of community!

And don’t forget … tell a friend! There are chocolate and cupcakes waiting for you there!

May your fall be blessed beyond measure as you are touched by connection with others who understand!

With so much love and thanks for you…

Patty Mills and Arlethea Pressley
Group Leaders for {Re}Committed Lives

Cockfighting and Amazing Grace

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)


I can still remember the excitement of getting to miss church so we could go visit my “Grandpa on the mountain.” Because there were usually surprises along the way. 

An old service station at the bottom of the mountain where we would get root beers in glass bottles; a flea market where there were puppies for sale; the feeling that we were going to fall off the mountain as my dad drove way too close to the side. 



But always, as we started down the dirt drive towards the old house, my excitement turned to nervousness.

Pictures of my Grandpa in his youth showed a tall, handsome, slightly arrogant looking man. But after years working in the coal mines, his looks and health prematurely withered. 

He and my grandmother had divorced back before divorce was accepted as the norm. Both of them had bad tempers, but my Grandpa‘s violent temper was legendary. 

Did he really beat his brother with a tire iron? You know he used to run moonshine, didn’t you? So you mean he uses those pretty roosters in fights? Does he really hit them with his cane? 

I can barely remember him looking for the perfect stump to find fiddling worms for a fishing trip with my dad. Somewhere along the line, he started using a cane to walk.

More vivid are the memories of him angrily shaking his cane, demanding someone bring him “this or that” as he coughed and gasped for air. Somewhere along the line, an oxygen tank appeared along with a folded up napkin he kept in his hand for when the coughing fits hit.

And then came the appearance of an old Bible…

When they brought in the hospital bed, the old Bible and him became inseparable. He desperately clung to it, holding it tightly to his chest. Sometimes he would shake it at us while trying to tell us something very important that I could never quite understand. 

And I remember being angry. 

How dare you, I thought. How dare you try to act like you’re good now. Now that you are dying do you think you just get to grab a Bible and it will magically wipe out all the bad things you’ve done all your life? No, Grandpa, it doesn’t work like that. You haven’t done anything good. You don’t get to just go to heaven after all that stuff. 

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor started a series of sermons on grace. How grace isn’t earned and we can’t lose it.  None of us deserve it.  It is God’s free and amazing gift to us. Tweet this!

He became emotional as he reminded us of the criminal who hung on a cross beside our Savior. About the saving grace our Lord extended to him, just moments before He died. How he wasn’t required to jump off the cross and make amends to all those he had wronged, go serve the poor and minister to the needy in order to be granted access to heaven.

My years of self righteousness melted away and in its place sprung up humility and gratefulness. And I marveled in the wonder I felt knowing that the only requirement from God was to accept His amazing gift of grace, which is wholly sufficient.  Tweet this!


Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:42-43 (NLT)

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 (NLT)

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13 (NIV)

Nosebleeds and Mocha Frappuccinos

 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”  Matthew 26:41

“I got to eat a popsicle today, mom,” said my youngest child, proudly showing me her slightly stained pink tongue.   

“Oh, that’s nice, honey.  Why?” I asked. 

“Because the nurse said it would help with my nosebleed.”  

My eldest had them occasionally as a young child but she hasn’t had any in a couple of years.  But my youngest child…poor thing.  She got the worst of it. 

Last year, she had them so severely and so frequently she made daily trips to the school nurse’s office.  Sometimes twice a day.  

Exasperated, I took her to an ENT whose diagnosis was weak blood vessels.  His suggested treatment was a chewable daily allergy medicine (to help prevent them) and Afrin nose spray (to help stop one already in progress). 

After several weeks with no nosebleeds, my first thought was “Hooray!” closely followed by second thought which was “Well, THAT information sure would have been helpful about a year ago.”

In our desperation, we’d tried all sorts of things over the years to prevent/stop them. 

• A humidifier. 
• Liberal application of nasal lubricant. 
• Short nails to ward off accidental scraping of the inside of her nose.  
• Pinching the bridge of her nose for 5 minutes straight (no peeking!). 
• “Crazy lips” -  a small piece of wet paper towel, folded to fit between her top lip and gum.

And though some of these things may have helped, nothing came close to helping as quickly and completely as our ENT’s suggestions. 

So, after almost six months of being virtually nosebleed-free, we had become complacent. 

"Nosebleeds?  That’s a thing of the past," I thought as I happily checked “None” on the school’s medical conditions form.  Goodbye humidifier.  So long emergency stashes of Afrin bottles.   

I surprised my sweet hubby with his second love this morning:  a mocha frappuccino.   Since I never just drop by his office and since our strict needs-only budget doesn’t allow for such luxuries, I knew this would be a real treat for him. 

The need to reconnect with him felt almost overwhelming.

I couldn't put my finger on it, either, because we haven’t been fighting.  Actually, things have been running surprisingly smooth at our house lately.

 

We say pleasant enough “good mornings” as we get ourselves and the kids ready for the day.  We ask how each other’s day was in the evenings and do a decent job listening to each other.  We’ve eaten more dinners together around the table than not lately. 

But in the evenings, after the kids go to bed, which is the only real time we have to connect with each other on a deeper level…well, we just hadn’t been.   And that's when I realize what is happening...we have become complacent and have been, ever so slightly, drifting apart. 

And it is neither of our faults and both of our faults at the same time. 

And God reminds me that our marriage is susceptible to the same kind of sneak attack we experienced with our youngest's recent nosebleed.  He reminds me that complacency will lead us and our relationship down a path that we've been too many times before.  Click to Tweet!

And I'm thankful for this wake up call. 

For the Great Physician's diagnosis that our marriage is weak right now.  And for His suggested treatment of making the time to meet each other's most important needs.   

 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”  Ephesians 6:10-12 (ESV)

“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”  Revelation 3:16 (ESV)

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”  I Peter 5:8 KJV