Showing posts with label Surrender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Surrender. Show all posts
Friday, November 15, 2013
Ice Cream and Doubt
"Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour." Matthew 15:28
“I don’t want {sob} you to leave, mommy {sob}.”
It was the second time in 4 days I’d heard this tearful plea from my youngest.
First, just before my trip to Atlanta for a Women of Faith conference and now, again, as I tried to leave early to help out with the Law Enforcement Summit.
“Sweetie, I love you so much. But you know who loves you more? Who will never leave you, even when mommy has to?” I said, hugging her tightly.
“God,” answers my oldest, who’d been listening from across the room. “Yes, that’s right. God.” I affirmed.
“But I can’t see Him,” Her eyes were honest and pleading and filled to overflowing with tears.
Rewind to 4 days ago at 3:30 am…
“Mom, you’re gonna break my heart if you go,” she cried as she clung to me.
“God is with you, baby, and He will comfort you and be with you, even when mommy isn’t.”
We prayed and as God's peace eventually settled over us we were able to enjoy the sweet treat of having the next couple of hours together, just she and I ~ exactly what both of us needed. {But God is just awesome that way, isn't He? Always providing for our needs, often in unexpected ways, when we pray and ask for it. I love having a Heavenly Father who lavishes us with his blessings. Tweet this!}
Fast forward to today...
"We are doing this, again?" I internally question. The same tearful plea to stay. The same gracious God whose peace settles us down, again. This time, though, her honest question of doubt resonated within me: "But I can’t see Him…”
As part of the reward for her settling down, I made a promise to join her for lunch. So when work obligations caused me to leave a little later than expected, I became impatient. Then encountered an unmarked police car on the interstate and became frustrated. So much so that I ended up missing the intended exit.
Doubt kicked into full gear: “I’m not going to have any time with her. I’m going to miss her whole lunch hour. I might as well turn around. {Lightbulb moment!} God, what should I do?“
“You should trust me. Don’t you believe that I am with her always? That I can be trusted to care for her and comfort her when you aren’t around? Isn’t that what you told her this morning? Don't you believe it?“
Surrender and peace washed over me. I slowed down. And railing against my sinful, doubting instincts…I stopped for ice cream! What a joy and freedom I felt in surrendering to God’s truth, the knowledge that He could do anything, that He was with Bella to comfort and protect her. Tweet this! In that instant, I'd moved from doubt to belief and the realization that I didn't need to know all the details of how or why.
Arriving at the end of her lunch period, with she and her classmates getting ready to depart the lunchroom, I honestly didn't know what to expect. Was God going to teach me that his grace was sufficient when missing a promised lunchtime visit with my daughter? Would He turn back the hands of time? Nope. Neither of those.
What He did was, nonetheless a miracle. He prompted the teacher to offer to allow my child to stay past the normal lunch hour in order to enjoy an ice cream with me, the late-to-lunch mom.
As Bella and I enjoyed our special, divinely provided time together, I thanked God for the big scoops of faith He always provides me with peace sprinkled on top.
"The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Serenity Prayer and Zeal
“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)
Today marks two major milestones in my life…my 10 year wedding anniversary (I love you, baby!) and my 8 month divorce from cigarettes (Good riddance, you life sucking addiction!)
Lies! That’s what addictions are and they are straight from the devil because, honestly, how else can you explain the insanity of doing something that...
- kills
- controls
- drives a wedge between yourself and your spouse
- negatively influences and impacts your children, family and friends
- drains your finances
- compromises your job
- corrupts your life and causes strive, fear and turmoil
- and consistently separates you from a holy God
“Don’t worry about all that stuff. It doesn’t really matter. It’s not really a sin. You’re not hurting anybody. Nobody even really knows. Plus, I’m not all that bad. Other people do me all the time. You should be able to do what you want and you want me, right? I make you feel good. There’s nothing wrong in that. I’ve always been here for you. I’m your best friend. You can’t live without me. You can’t cope with life without me. Who will you turn to?”
I’ve been there before lots of times with cigarettes (and other addictions) and have even mustered up the willpower to quit, one time for almost a year.
But you know what? You can’t truly beat addiction without God. Tweet this!
Because that same self that wants to quit is the same self that wants to keep doing it and it takes God to remove that desire.
If you prayed right now for God to remove the desire for that addiction He will answer that prayer and your head is gonna spin at how quickly and completely God will remove that life sucking addiction from your life. When I prayed that prayer 8 months ago, I tested God to see if He’d really answered my prayer…I tried to smoke and (1) it tasted awful and (2) I felt like Jesus was sitting right beside me in my car, looking at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen in your life and my heart was so heavy with the weight of his disappointment that I couldn’t throw that cigarette away fast enough! And I haven’t picked one back up since.
Some people might say that I have an addictive personality but I like to call it the spiritual gift of zeal (as a sweet friend tagged it the other day).
It’s my God-given desire to jump in with two feet, guns a-blazing, throwing caution to the wind, doing it on a large scale, louder, bigger, and better. My zeal begs the question, “If one is good, then 10 must be better, right?”
But, like all of our spiritual gifts, if we don’t lay them at Jesus feet, give Him complete control of them, constantly pray for guidance, keep in the Word, surround ourselves with Godly people…the devil will try to get us to use our gift for him. Tweet this!
And though our God is mightier than the devil, He gives us a choice in how we use those gifts or if we even use them at all. Tweet this!
My challenge to you today is to take that unhealthy addiction - pornography, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever it is - and give it to God. He promises to replace it with something more fulfilling that gives you...
- freedom
- enhances your life
- builds unity between yourself and your spouse
- positively influences and impacts your children, family and friends
- bolsters your finances
- improves your job
- brings joy to your life and causes peace, love and civility
- and consistently draws you closer to Him
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 (NIV)
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